Before the plane takes off, we are given a safety briefing about what to do in case of emergencies. And we're told if the cabin loses pressure, we're to put our oxygen mask on first before we help anyone else.
The reason is if we try to help someone who is struggling to put on their mask before putting on ours first, we might not have the time to help them before we pass out. And since they were already struggling, they'll probably pass out along with us.
In taking care of ourselves first, we can help other people more effectively and reduce the risk that we'll also become helpless and need assistance.
It's part of our survival instincts to take care of ourselves first so there's nothing wrong with doing that. There might be exceptions to the rule but most of the time taking care of ourselves first before taking care of anyone else will be, in the long run, more effective.
When we take care of ourselves first, when we decide to take care of someone else it's because we want to. We have the capacity and, most importantly, the well-being to do so.
Also, since we're doing it because we want to, we're not sacrificing ourselves. We don't develop any feelings of resentment towards the people we're helping or any feelings of debt owed because it's our choice.
Being selfish is taking care of ourselves first. It doesn't mean we only take care of ourselves and never care for others.
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